Life!

I've been feeling frustrated recently. I think it has to do with my sisters always wanting to make me angry... why they do it? I don't know. I tell them to stop of course but Isabel always seems to get the wrong message...how? I still don't know. But whatever, i'll keep ignoring them with their insults and hopefully i won't crack and want to beat the heck out of them. I try not to. But then of course they egg me on... so then i just lift a little finger and my mom is suddenly all up on me. Its like she only has eyes for all the bad stuff i do. What's gotten into her? Alas, i will never find out unless i ask her.. and that of course is out of the question. She'll probably get offended and mad... she usually does when i ask her a question involving her. Is this all my fault?? Am i supposed to just let them try to make me mad?? To see what pulls my string?? I'm so sad they don't understand what its like to live my life!! My mom doesn't even know that i sometimes feel the same way she does... i lose my patience!! Sometimes i have a nervous breakdown, i just get anxious that my life is just so difficult!! I know how to control myself [breathing does work] But I don't like it, and some day i'd probably pass the line, but at least you all know what i'll be feeling when that happens.